Know Thy Enemy: A Dr Horrible Fic
by CaffieneKitty
Summary: SPOILERS FOR ALL: Johnny Snow's girlfriend is not pleased with his choice of arch-nemesis.


**Warnings:** Spoilers for all of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.  
**Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon is the eeeeeeevil overlord on this 'verse.  
**Summary:** Johnny Snow's girlfriend is not pleased with his choice of arch-nemesis.  
**A/N:** Part of the same continuity as my previous Dr. Horrible fic, Everything I Ever Wanted, even though it's not obvious. Because when I started it kind of wasn't, but it wedged itself in a toehold. There may be more in this continuity. There may not. It may be soon. It may not. is enigmatic

-

**Know Thy Enemy**  
by CaffieneKitty  
-

Johnny Snow stumbled out of his bedroom in search of a cup of coffee and the hockey scores when something flew at his face. He froze it with an ice-beam out of reflex, which didn't help because the solid block of ice hitting his face hurt way worse than it would have if it was still an unfrozen newspaper.

"Ow," he said as he rubbed his nose and looked down at the paper on the floor. Through its new icy surface, Dr. Horrible's face leered up at him.

"Johnny!" shrieked a familiar female voice. Not a normally shrieking voice, but there were memorable moments. Apparently this was one of them.

"G'morning, Maggie. You're by early." He picked up the paper and scowled back at his uncooperative arch-nemesis before looking up at Maggie.

"That!" She said, pointing at the frozen paper. "That's that lunatic you've been taunting for months now, isn't it?"

"Dr. Horrible, my arch-nemesis, yes. He didn't show up last night, _again._ Wasted night." Johnny put the ice-encased paper in to the microwave and set it to thaw. "But I stopped two muggings, and a-"

Maggie had crossed her arms. That was a bad sign.

"You don't want to know about my night, do you?"

Maggie's dark eyes narrowed. "Your 'Dr. Horrible' wasn't there because he was across town at that homeless shelter opening, killing Captain Hammer's girlfriend!"

Johnny snorted. "Figures. He's always got more time for Captain Hamm-" The rest of Maggie's statement snapped into clarity. "Wait, _what?_"

"He. Killed. Captain Hammer's. _Girlfriend._"

Johnny shook his head. "But-"

"_This_ is the psycho you've been taunting? That could have been _me_ dead if you'd got him into doing that 'arch-nemesis' thing you're after him for!"

"But-"

"Nuh uh," Maggie said, waving her finger. "No no no. You _do not_ say 'but' to me, Mister Johnathan David Snow." She stomped over to the beeping microwave, pulled the mostly thawed paper out and slapped it flat against the kitchen table in a spray of melty slush. "It's right there, black and white with some tasteful spots of blood-red for emphasis."

Johnny dropped into the kitchen chair and started peeling the pages apart, the bits of ice that flaked off as the pages flexed dribbling into his lap. "But, that can't be-"

"Oh, it is." Maggie stood at the end of the table, arms crossed again. "You know, if you want to break up Johnny, just say so. Don't go agitating," her breath hitched, "girlfriend-murdering villains just to get rid of me."

"What?" He gaped across the table at her. "No! Don't be crazy! I-"

"Then stop antagonizing this freak! I told you! You don't need an arch-nemesis to be a hero! That could have been me there, dead! Or you!" Maggie's crossed arms shifted from angry to upset and vulnerable. "I don't want to see you dead in the headlines this guy is making."

"You don't understand, Maggie," Johnny said, frowning back down at the lurid photos. "I didn't just pick Dr. Horrible's name out of a hat as arch-nemesis material, I did some research. I picked Dr. Horrible as my nemesis because he _doesn't_ kill people. He cares about kids and bystanders and crap like that. He doesn't do collateral damage, and he's not a murderer."

"He is now." Maggie dropped into the chair next to Johnny. "I worry, John. You treat this hero business like a game, but it's dangerous. People get hurt and killed."

Johnny reached over and squeezed Maggie's hand. "I know. And hey, I'm careful. I even got the parka lined with Kevlar last month, remember?"

Maggie scowled. "You're not as careful as you could be. Just... Promise me you're not going to keep nagging this guy, alright? He really scares me."

He squeezed her hand again. "I promise."

"Honey?"

"Yes?"

"Cold hands."

He released her hand which was developing a lightly melting coat of frost. "Right, sorry. I'm not with it."

Maggie rubbed her hands together and blew on them, offering Johnny a shaky but relieved smile. "Had coffee yet, babe?"

"Not exactly, I was just waking up when you threw the paper at me."

"I'll make some then." Maggie moved through the kitchen, chattering about the price of coffee and how Johnny needed to stock his fridge with something better than donuts and Canadian beer.

Johnny stared back down at the front page photo of Dr. Horrible, letting Maggie's now calmer voice fade into the background of his awareness.

Dr. Horrible, killing someone? That wasn't in character for him at all. Something was wrong with his former-potential-arch-nemesis, and Johnny Snow, 'Poser in a Parka', was going to find out what.

But without annoying Dr. Horrible, now that he didn't want him as a nemesis anymore. Or the Evil League of Evil. Or Maggie. Somehow.

- - -  
(that's it... sort of)

Post A/N: So, yeah. Likely to be more in this continuity, not sure what or when, or even who or why. It's all a mystery! Yay!


End file.
